This is part of a series called “Thoughts on Being Alpha” in which I share aspects about the alpha’s journey. You feel like Alice right now, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Angry and antagonistic women become screaming children who didn’t get the toy. You may even have learned about the second language we have been bred not to be able to translate, but know of it’s existence nonetheless. The grass looks greener on this side, but waking up changes everything. Permanently.
What do you see when you remove the fluff from a potential mate?
For me, everything comes down to a series of value judgements about the woman. Not about the amount of effort I put in, but the potential for what I can get out of it. Companionship? Get a dog. Validation? I’ve got my friends for that. Entertainment? Go see a movie.
Grind all that away. If you want to hamster it, she doesn’t need that kind of responsibility either. She can’t handle being that important to you. If I were to be looking for a LTR, there are only two factors that really matter to me; her suitability for bearing children, and her willingness to bear children. Why I pick these is beside the point. The problem I’m writing about today is how to measure these factors. They aren’t immediately apparent, and are not the most concrete of factors to judge value from.
Dredging out the history of my previous relationships, analyzing the personalities of the women and bringing it forward to contrast against my current string of hookups, friends with benefits and other non-committal sex, I’ve developed a series of pairs of traits that either can’t co-exist or affect each other to the point where they need to be contrasted. They are each measurable, direct and unambiguous. Think about these and how much each one means to you when you’re trying to estimate the value of a woman.
Family-Oriented vs Career-Focused: These two factors do not co-exist in the universe of the typical woman. Whether it’s the result of the current job climate “forcing women to make the choice” or the emergence of the “empowered feminist,” or whatever. The result is that a woman wants a career, or she chooses to forgo a career entirely to start a family. I’ve had relationships on both sides of this conflict of interest, and while none of them have resulted in children, I definitely will be looking for more family oriented women in the future.
When it comes to actually measuring this, though, I look into conversation content and how a woman reacts to questions on each of the topics. Mixing in probing questions with some playful flirting will shed some light on whether she stands with career or family. She might blow off a question about her career, but if she lights up and goes into detail, there’s still hope. Especially if she’s in childcare. Look into the content. She might focus a lot on talking about her friends in the office or otherwise demonstrate a social focus. Red flags pop up when she lights up about some report, the mechanics of her job or an incoming promotion for example.
On the flip side of these, you could prey on career driven women for low investment sex knowing she’s not looking for kids, commitment and a provider.
Jealous vs Aloof: This one can be seen as more of a spectrum, with the goal finding a woman somewhere in the middle. Jealous mate-guarding behaviour generally comes out in “calling to say goodnight” or texting asking where you are. In my past relationships, it’s gone so far as to have every single female friend of mine stand accused of cheating with me. That particular relationship ended with me finding out she was cheating on me.
Women who are too aloof on the other hand…well, I can’t say for certain whether it means they’re cheating or not, but they’re just boring. Aloofness from my partner tells me she’s not worried about me possibly replacing her with a newer model. If she’s not slightly conscious of that, she’s not going to try to maintain herself or worse, she’s going to upgrade on me to someone who reflects her perceived status better.
My goal is to get her texting first. If she initiates conversation regularly, I see it as a sign she’s subtly trying to keep tabs on me. It also shows I’m busy enough with my life that I’m not placing all my self-worth in her hands.
Sex-Appeal vs Sex-Readiness: This is an interesting contrast to make. We know the typical attractive woman can be gamed to give up their loins to someone who knows what they’re doing, but then there’s this: you perceive a woman’s SMV to decline the quicker she gives it up. Nobody likes a town pump and the quicker she gives it up, the bigger and brighter the red flag goes up. You bring this connection in yourself, thinking “If it was that easy for me, chances are she’s done this before.”
On the other hand, attractive women like to make men work for a chance as well. We wouldn’t call them Beta Orbiters if it wasn’t commonplace enough for a label to be fashioned. You can see this all over the place, and in breaks between writing this out, I saw a guy carrying a girl’s purse. She wasn’t up to anything, either. She just made him carry it. Don’t fall into orbiter mode to get her. Women with a lot of guy friends are in the high risk zone for this.
Actually measuring this is straightforward. Judge her on her attractiveness. If she’s hot enough, try to escalate and see where that gets you. Simply put, game her and see how easily you get through her defenses. If she can hold out long enough for you to be satisfied she’s not just an easy lay, then maybe you’re on to something.
Commitment vs. Hypergamy: Women are naturally hypergamous in their behaviours. They are always looking for the fittest man to bear and raise their children. Good LTR material will be conscious of this fact and keep it in check. Women with a lot of guy friends are a red flag here as well, having a slew of potential suitors ready to replace you on a whim. On the other side, deep religious backgrounds and cultural heritage can provide a good insight into a woman with the right values for a LTR. If you can get her to cheat in a relationship or take her from her boyfriend, you already know she’s hypergamous, swinging to you as a superior specimen. It’ll only be a matter of time before she swings again.
Talk to her about where she comes from and do some research on the place. Smaller country towns tend to have more collectivist cultures, even in western society. These cultures tend to have lower instances of cheating and divorce, and from my experience, the men appear to be more naturally Red Pill in these towns and other countries. Of course, this doesn’t preclude women in our larger individualist societies, but they are a much rarer breed in my town and I would argue in most of the larger westernised cities.
You can’t directly measure this, so be wary. You can only infer it from her background, if she has a lot of male friends and other identifieable factors.
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Interestingly, neither side of each factor really means the woman needs to be avoided, rather what sort of relationship she’s more suited to. A career-focussed, hypergamous woman makes a better short-term gratification investment, where you cash out after a couple of months and call it a win. On the other hand, a country girl who hkeeps mostly female company and calls just to talk a couple of times a week could be the ticket you need to perpetuate your seed into another generation.
Fin.
The Red Pill Life 