This is part of a series called “Thoughts on Being Alpha” in which I share aspects about the alpha’s journey. You feel like Alice right now, tumbling down the rabbit hole. Angry and antagonistic women become screaming children who didn’t get the toy. You may even have learned about the second language we have been bred not to be able to translate, but know of it’s existence nonetheless. The grass looks greener on this side, but waking up changes everything. Permanently.
It’s no secret that we as men are being supplanted by the government in most western societies. Our ability to earn is no good to most women because they either collect a government check to raise the kids or they get so wrapped up in their careers they’re useless to the biological imperative. If you base your worth solely on this, you have hope in most third world countries or in collectivist cultures (this post will be edited with a link to an explanation of these later.) Quality western women have outmoded this method of entering and maintaining an effective relationship.
We can still play the short game by having money, or have a medium to long term relationship with a superficial woman. Depending on your goals this can be productive, but if you’re like me you want children from your own seed one day. Children that will carry your name and succeed to pass on your name. Money will not guarantee this the way it did in the fifties and sixties. It is an alpha relic.
This is not the complete neutering that a lot of the manosphere talks about. It is still perfectly possible to gain and maintain a LTR (or even marriage if you’re so inclined.) The game isn’t over, just changed.
But without money, what do we have?
The answer is easier to comprehend than you think. Apply Occam’s Razor and look at men who inspire you to follow them. Not the men in leadership positions like CEO’s, officers in the military or others, but those who attract followers on a social standing. AMOG’s of the groups you want to emulate. This is not to say those work roles are people you want to be different. Just be wary of assuming they have everything tied up in neat little bows and get everything the way you will want it. Better to see how they do in a social setting than in the boardroom.
Leadership is our commodity. Modern women love to not have to be in charge all the time. This is why you have a plan or be spontaneous enough to be in control of the situation when you get a date with a quality woman. Women have been raised to live the fantasy of being swept off their feet annd find their “dream man.” If you don’t believe me, watch any Disney movie pre-2000’s.
It’s common mention in the manosphere about being the “captain of your ship.” Women will not initiate a conversation, and a lot of PUA techniques demontrate the underlying quality of leadership. Status comes with leadership as does (commonly) wealth and opportunity. This is the core of what makes an attractive man. A man that women want to be around and other men look to when they “just don’t know.”
But its more than just developing and displaying leadership. If you overdo this in your relationship, or in amongst your friends, you will cause them to feel completely powerless and like they don’t have any status at all in your life. This is the other side of the scales that will cause short term success but long term failure in everything. It’s one thing to be valuable to others, but they have to feel valuable to you as well. This is where a lot of PUA’s and Red Pill writers start to fall down. There’s a limit to complete and total domination being effective. You will wind up on top, but alone.
My personal advice is this. Display your value, take charge, get in a leadership role, ut don’t micro-manage every little detail. I’ve read books from PUA’s about taking control of every detail. They say to disagree with absolutely everything a woman suggests on a date right down to their suggestion of where to sit in a cafe you choose. This is silly and overbearing. Remember that word – “overbearing.”
Just like you let your friends invite you to events, if she has a good suggestion you should roll with it. Strike a balance between too little leadership and too much. This is your ticket to a successful Long Term Relationship. Maybe one day I can write a post about how to tell if you’re doing too much or too little, but so far the tricks I’ve learned are as follows:
– Pay attention when you have a conversation with her. Vital clues will arise during these discussions about her interests, her feelings (if you know how to interpret what she’s saying. Learn about powertalk.)
– Use her interests to plan dates.
– If she suggests something, decide whether to go with it. It’s not about just disregarding what she’s saying.
– Don’t always refuse an invitation. If you show up to something she plans, you will display a lot of value to her as well as give her a sense of worth in your life. Remember, she’s going to become your first mate, not just some midshipman.
I’m slowing down on the TRP and manosphere knowledge consumption. Maybe I’m growing soft, but I know one thing is true. Save for a few highly respected Redditors who have saved their marriages and LTR’s by going Red Pill, that place is becoming plagued with callousness towards women. Short term success becomes almost a guarantee with TRP, but long term failure is almost as sure a thing. Roll back from the hardcore stylings of it a bit and become a true alpha, someone secure in themselves, who not only leads, but follows a good idea, and knows when to do one or the other.
That is when you will find long term success.
Post-it: Do yourself a serious favour and get a copy of Models by Mark Manson. His audiobook sold on Audible is a bit unpolished thanks to him reading it to you, but the content of the book itself is something you should get your hands on.
The Red Pill Life 